Spit storm
I've always thought that spitting was a foul habit. In high school I knew many guys who could spit great distances and thought it was exceptionally cool - as if spitting for was an extension of their...um...coolness. I admit it, I've tried to spit, and it turns out I am just no good at it. I think the furthest I've spit is all the way to my chin - I get no trajectory at all. This fact has never bothered me until I took up road biking this summer. Now I need to know how to spit. Cycling, or any outdoor sport, makes my nose run. I've discovered the snort 'n' swallow attempt to dealing with this issue is just undesirable, and wearing a crustache of boogers on my upper lip is even more uncool than my padded spandex bike shorts. So...that leaves me with spitting. I tried it twice today on my 90 minute trek with Andrew...the first one got all the way to my forearm, the second one made it all the way to the cyclist behind me - my husband. This is a tricky skill that I fear I will never master. I guess I am just too ladylike ;-)
The back door of my car is being held closed by a bungee cord. For some reason, the stubborn piece of crap decided it likes to bounce instead of close. I am hoping that if I hold out long enough, it will remember in it's own how it's supposed to function, and I will not have to fund some sort of operation at the mechanic. Sheeesh.
Someone told me yesterday you can make diamonds from peanut butter, if the conditions are right. Really? What sort of whacked out alchemy is this we have here? Does it matter if it's smooth, light, or crunchy? Does brand play a part (does Kraft have a leg up on Skippy?).I Googled it and found this link http://www.tyler-adam.com/49.html. 28 and still learning! A more useful trick would be how to turn vegetables into delicious, but fat free and nutritious chocolate. A girl can dream...
posted by The Devine Mrs. B @ 9:42 PM
5 Comments:
And so this leaves me with a delema. I can either
a) teach my wife to be more "Manly" by showing her the craft of spitting great distances or
b) Experience outdoor showers in months other than April.
As the sister of the Divine Ms. B. I have sat back quietly and enjoyed her wondeful, eloquent (at times), satyrical and entertaining blog entries. Tonight I want to comment that two educated and well-paid individuals should not be driving a car held together by a bungee cord. If your debt-ridden sister and her poor-ass mooch husband can afford a good car then you can too.
I applaud your continued support of the wee VW. Many mistake incorrectly working parts as broken, instead of seeing the added charm that they provide. Kudos. As for a possible fix for your door, I have found in the past that it is actually quite simple and only requires the use of a standard bic pen sans the writing components. It's just a matter of getting the little latch to swing back to it's intended start position. Best of luck and don't succumb to your sister's pressure to have a car become an unnecessary status symbol.
I want to thank you guys for bringing tears to my eyes for laughing so hard. I think I have woken my kids up! Melanie
Kelly, I like your blog very much!!! ROFL!!!! I think you'll equally enjoy my Croatian transvestite midget dating service!!!!!
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